Psalm 63:1

Each longing in my life that I have discovered, or that has discovered me drives me to confront a truth that I might not have confronted otherwise: I need God. I am thirsty for God. Desperately thirsty. In every area of my life. I was made by Him and for Him, and apart from Him I will not be satisfied. My desires for things to fill me and make me whole bear witness to the One who will fill me ultimately. My longing to be known reveals to me the existence of a greater knowing One who created me.


Father, I surrender all. All to you, my precious Savior


"When at last I cling to you with all my being, for me there will be no more sorrow, no more toil. Then at last I shall be alive with true life, for my life will be wholly filled by you." -St. Augustine

"When God says no to a longing, it is because not filling it will shape us more that filling it would." -Nichole Johnson

Husdon Taylor:

Do you know, I now think that this striving, longing, hoping for better days to come is not the true way to holiness, happiness or usefulness. It is better, no doubt, far better than being satisfied with poor attainments, but not the best way after all. I have been struck with a passage from a book . . . entitled Christ is All. It says,

"The Lord Jesus received is holiness begun; the Lord Jesus cherished is holiness advancing; the Lord Jesus counted upon as never absent would be holiness complete. . . .

"He is most holy who has most of Christ within, and joys most fully in the finished work. It is defective faith which clogs the feet and causes many a fall."

This last sentence, I think I now fully endorse. To let my loving Savior work in me His will, my sanctification, is what I would live for by His grace. Abiding, not striving nor struggling; looking off unto Him; trusting Him for present power; . . . resting in the love of an almighty Savior, in the joy of a complete salvation, "from all sin"—this is not new, and yet 'tis new to me. I feel as though the dawning of a glorious day had risen upon me. I hail it with trembling, yet with trust. I seem to have got to the edge only, but of a boundless sea; to have sipped only, but of that which fully satisfies. Christ literally all seems to me, now, the power, the only power for service, the only ground for unchanging joy. . . .

How then to have our faith increased? Only by thinking of all that Jesus is and all He is for us: His life, His death, His work, He Himself as revealed to us in the Word, to be the subject of our constant thoughts. Not a striving to have faith . . . but a looking off to the Faithful One seems all we need; a resting in the Loved One entirely, for time and for eternity.

We do not know just how the miracle was wrought; but, "As I read, I saw it all," Mr. Taylor wrote. "I looked to Jesus, and when I saw—oh, how joy flowed!"

I knew that if only I could abide in Christ all would be well, but I could not. I would begin the day with prayer, determined not to take my eye off Him for a moment, but pressure of duties, sometimes very trying, and constant interruptions apt to be so wearing, caused me to forget Him. Then one's nerves get so fretted in this climate that temptations to irritability, hard thoughts and sometimes unkind words are all the more difficult to control. Each day brought its register of sin and failure, of lack of power. To will was indeed "present with me," but how to perform I found not.

Then came the question, is there no rescue? Must it be thus to the end—constant conflict, and too often defeat? How could I preach with sincerity that, to those who receive Jesus, "to them gave he power to become the sons of God" (i.e., Godlike) when it was not so in my own experience? Instead of growing stronger, I seemed to be getting weaker and to have less power against sin; and no wonder, for faith and even hope were getting low. I hated myself, I hated my sin, yet gained no strength against it. I felt I was a child of God. His Spirit in my heart would cry, in spite of all, "Abba, Father." But to rise to my privileges as a child, I was utterly powerless.

I thought that holiness, practical holiness, was to be gradually attained by a diligent use of the means of grace. There was nothing I so much desired as holiness, nothing I so much needed; but far from in any measure attaining it, the more I strove after it, the more it eluded my grasp, until hope itself almost died out, and I began to think that—perhaps to make heaven the sweeter—God would not give it down here. I do not think that I was striving to attain it in my own strength. I knew I was powerless. I told the Lord so, and asked Him to give me help and strength. Sometimes I almost believed that He would keep and uphold me; but on looking back in the evening—alas! there was but sin and failure to confess and mourn before God.

I would not give you the impression that this was the only experience of those long, weary months. It was a too frequent state of soul, and that towards which I was tending, which almost ended in despair. And yet, never did Christ seem more precious; a Savior who could and would save such a sinner! . . . And sometimes there were seasons not only of peace but of joy in the Lord; but they were transitory, and at best there was a sad lack of power. Oh, how good the Lord has been in bringing this conflict to an end!

All the time I felt assured that there was in Christ all I needed, but the practical question was—how to get it out. He was rich truly, but I was poor; He was strong, but I weak. I knew full well that there was in the root, the stem, abundant fatness, but how to get it into my puny little branch was the question. As gradually light dawned, I saw that faith was the only requisite—was the hand to lay hold on His fullness and make it mine. But I had not this faith.

I strove for faith, but it would not come; I tried to exercise it, but in vain. Seeing more and more the wondrous supply of grace laid up in Jesus, the fullness of our precious Savior, my guilt and helplessness seemed to increase. Sins committed appeared but as trifles compared with the sin of unbelief which was their cause, which could not or would not take God at His word, but rather made Him a liar! Unbelief was I felt the damning sin of the world; yet I indulged in it. I prayed for faith, but it came not. What was I to do?

When my agony of soul was at its height, a sentence in a letter from dear McCarthy was used to remove the scales from my eyes, and the Spirit of God revealed to me the truth of our oneness with Jesus as I had never know in before. McCarthy, who had been much exercised by the same sense of failure but saw the light before I did, wrote (I quote from memory):

"But how to get faith strengthened? Not by striving after faith, but by resting on the Faithful One."

As I read, I saw it all! "If we believe not, he abideth faithful." I looked to Jesus and saw (and when I saw, oh, how joy flowed!) that He had said, "I will never leave thee."

"Ah, there is rest!" I thought. "I have striven in vain to rest in Him. I'll strive no more. For has not He promised to abide with me—never to leave me, never to fail me?" And, dearie, He never will.

Nor was this all He showed me, nor one half. As I thought of the Vine and the branches, what light the blessed Spirit poured direct into my soul! How great seemed my mistake in wishing to get the sap, the fullness out of Him! I saw not only that Jesus will never leave me, but that I am a member of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. The vine is not the root merely, but all—root, stem, branches, twigs, leaves, flowers, fruit. And Jesus is not that alone—He is soil and sunshine, air and showers, and ten thousand times more than we have ever dreamed, wished for or needed. Oh, the joy of seeing this truth! I do pray that the eyes of your understanding too may be enlightened, that you may know and enjoy the riches freely given us in Christ.

Oh, my dear Sister, it is a wonderful thing to be really one with a risen and exalted Savior, to be a member of Christ! Think what it involves. Can Christ be rich and I poor? Can your right hand be rich and your left poor? or your head be well fed while your body starves? Again, think of its bearing on prayer. Could a bank clerk say to a customer, "It was only your hand, not you that wrote that check"; or "I cannot pay this sum to your hand, but only to yourself"? No more can your prayers or mine be discredited if offered in the name of Jesus (i.e., not for the sake of Jesus merely, but on the ground that we are His, His members) so long as we keep within the limits of Christ's credit—a tolerably wide limit! If we ask for anything unscriptural, or not in accordance with the will of God, Christ Himself could not do that. But "if we ask any thing according to his will . . . we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him."

The sweetest part, if one may speak of one part being sweeter than another, is the rest which full identification with Christ brings. I am no longer anxious about anything, as I realize this; for He, I know, is able to carry out His will, and His will is mine. It makes no matter where He places me, or how. That is rather for Him to consider than for me; for in the easiest position He must give me His grace, and in the most difficult His grace is sufficient. It little matters to my servant whether I send him to buy a few cash worth of things, or the most expensive articles. In either case he looks to me for the money and brings me his purchases. So, if God should place me in serious perplexity, must He not give much guidance; in positions of great difficulty, much grace; in circumstances of great pressure and trial, much strength? No fear that His resources will prove unequal to the emergency! And His resources are mine, for He is mine, and is with me and dwells in me.

And since Christ has thus dwelt in my heart by faith, how happy I have been! I wish I could tell you about it, instead of writing. I am no better than before. In a sense, I do not wish to be, nor am I striving to be. But I am dead and buried with Christ—ay, and risen too!—And now Christ lives in me, and "the life that I now live in the flesh, I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." . . .

And now I must close. I have not said half I would, nor as I would, had I more time. May God give you to lay hold on these blessed truths. Do not let us continue to say, in effect, "Who shall ascend into heaven? (that is, to bring Christ down from above)." In other words, do not let us consider Him as far off, when God has made us one with Him, members of His very body. Nor should we look upon this experience, these truths, as for the few. They are the birthright of every child of God, and no one can dispense with them without dishonoring our Lord. The only power for deliverance from sin or for true service is Christ.

And it was all so simple and practical!—as the busy mother found when she too entered into this rest of faith.

"But are you always conscious of abiding in Christ?" Mr. Taylor was asked many years later.

"While sleeping last night," he replied, "did I cease to abide in your home because I was unconscious of the fact? We should never be conscious of not abiding in Christ."

I change, He changes not;

The Christ can never die:

His truth, not mine, the resting place;

His love, not mine, the tie.

Could you love this bastard child, though I don't trust you to provide?

I’ve got faith in the bank and money in my heart
I’ve got a calloused place where your ring used to be, my love

I’ve traded naked and unashamed
for a better place to hide
for a righteous mask, a suit of fig leaves and lies

I thought the cattle on a thousand hills
was not enough to pay my bills
and i fell in love with those who proved me wrong
and now i want a broken heart

Now there’s a great pad lock
on the place where i was free
and I'm feeling bad from swallowing that key

now i work real hard but i mostly call in sick
of a broken back from the ground fighting back at me

I cannot look you in the eye
so i check the knots on my disguise
‘cause i fell in love with fashion in the dark
and now I want a broken heart

I’ve got alibis for every crime
a substitute to do my time
‘cause Your heart breaks enough on both our parts
so now i want a broken heart

E.E. Cummings:

Somewhere I have never traveled,
Gladly beyond any experience,
Your eyes have their silence:
In your most frail gesture are things which inclose me,
Or which I cannot touch because they are too near.

Your slightest look easily will unclose me
Though I have closed myself as fingers
You open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
Touching skillfully, mysteriously, her first rose.

Or if your wish be to close me,
I and my life will shut very beautifully, suddenly,
As when the heart of this flower imagines
The snow carefully everywhere descending.

Nothing which we are to perceive in this world
Equals the power of your fragility: whose texture
Comples me with the color of its countries,
Rendering death and forever with each breathing.

I do not know what it is about you that closes and opens,
Only something in me understands the voice of your eyes
Is deeper than all roses.
Nobody, not even rain, has such small hands.

Where will we turn when our world falls apart
And all of the treasures we've stored in our barns,
Can't buy the Kingdom of God?
Who will we praise when we've praised all our lives
Men who build kingdoms and men who build fame
But Heaven does not know their name?
What will we fear when all that remains
Is God on His throne with a child in His arms,
And love in His eyes?
And the sound of His heart cries.

Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,Even so, it is well with my soul.

There's a new generation rising...

http://livedigital.com/AFyGqwBjEg/content/52110

If that doesn't slap you in the face then I would seriously consider taking some time and reevaluating your life.

Acts 17:16-32

16While Paul was waiting for them in Athens, he was greatly distressed to see that the city was full of idols. 17So he reasoned in the synagogue with the Jews and the God-fearing Greeks, as well as in the marketplace day by day with those who happened to be there. 18A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers began to dispute with him. Some of them asked, "What is this babbler trying to say?" Others remarked, "He seems to be advocating foreign gods." They said this because Paul was preaching the good news about Jesus and the resurrection. 19Then they took him and brought him to a meeting of the Areopagus, where they said to him, "May we know what this new teaching is that you are presenting? 20You are bringing some strange ideas to our ears, and we want to know what they mean." 21(All the Athenians and the foreigners who lived there spent their time doing nothing but talking about and listening to the latest ideas.)

22Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said: "Men of Athens! I see that in every way you are very religious. 23For as I walked around and looked carefully at your objects of worship, I even found an altar with this inscription: TO AN UNKNOWN GOD. Now what you worship as something unknown I am going to proclaim to you.

24"The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by hands. 25And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything, because he himself gives all men life and breath and everything else. 26From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. 27God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps grope for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. 28'For in him we live and move and have our being.' As some of your own poets have said, 'We are his children.'

29"Therefore since we are God's offspring, we should not think that the divine being is like gold or silver or stone—an image made by man's design and skill. 30In the past God overlooked such ignorance, but now he commands all people everywhere to repent. 31For he has set a day when he will judge the world with justice by the man he has appointed. He has given proof of this to all men by raising him from the dead."

32When they heard about the resurrection of the dead, some of them sneered, but others said, "We want to hear you again on this subject."

Dust

Jewish Rabbis who taught the Torah were the most respected members of their community. They were the best of the best, the smartest students who knew the text inside and out. Not everybody could be a rabbi. By age ten, students studying in the Jewish synagouge had begun to sort themselves out. Some would demonstrate natural abilities with the Scriptures and distance themselves from the others. These students went on to the next level of education, which was called Bet Talmud ("House of Learning") and lasted until sometime around the age of fourteen.
Students who did not continue their education would continue learning the family trade. If your family made sandals or wine or were farmers, you would apprentice with your parents and extended family as you learned the family trade in anticipation of carrying it on someday and passing it down to the next generation. Meanwhile, the best of the best, continuing their education in Bet Talmud, would then go on to further their learning of the Scriptures, having them fully memorized...Genesis through Malachi...thirty-nine books...memorized, as well as studying the art of questions and the oral tradition surrounding the text. These remaining students would now apply to a well known rabbi to become one of that raddi's talmidim (disciples). We often think of a disciple as a student, but being a disciple was far more than just being a student. The goal of a disciple wasn't just to know what the rabbi knew, but to be just like the rabbi.
This level of education was called Bet Midrash ("House of Study"). A student would present himself to a well known rabbi and say, "Rabbi, I want to become one of your disciples." When a student applied to a rabbi to be one of his disciples, he was desiring to take that rabbi's yoke upon him. He wanted to learn to do what the rabbi did. So when this student came to the rabbi and said, "I want to follow you," the rabbi wanted to know a few things: Can this student do what I do? Can this kid spread my yoke? Can this kid be like me? Does this kid have what it takes? The rabbi would then question and drill the student because he wanted to know if this kid could do what he did. He did not have time to train someone who wouldn't ultimately be able to do what he did. If the rabbi believed that the student did have what it took, he would say, "Come follow me." The student would then follow the rabbi everywhere. He would learn to apply the oral and written law to situations. He gave up his whole life to be just like his rabbi.
One of the earliest sages of the Mishnah, Yose ben Yoezer, said to disciples, "Cover yourself with the dust of your rabbi's feet."
This idea of being covered in the dust of your rabbi came from something everybody had seen. A rabbi would come to town, and right behind him would be this group of students, doing their best to keep up with the rabbi as he went about teaching his yoke from one place to another. By the end of a day of walking in the dirt directly behind their rabbi, the students would have the dest from his feet all over them.....and that was a good thing.
So at the age of thirty, when a rabbi generally began his public teaching and training of disciples, we find Jesus walking along the Sea of Galilee.
"He saw two brothers, Simon called Peter and his brother Andrew. They were casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen." Why were they fishermen? Because they aren't disciples. They weren't good enough; they didn't make the cut.
Jesus called the not-good-enoughs.
The story continues: "At once they left their nets and followed Him."
This is strange isnt it? Why do they just drop their nets? Why would they quit their jobs for some rabbi they had never met? And those Christian movies don't help. Jesus is usually wearing a white bathrobe with a light blue beauty pagent sash, and his hair is blow-dried and his eyes are glazed over....and he is Swedish. But given the first century context, it's clear what is going on here. Can you imagine what this must havebeen like- to have a rabbi say, "Come follow me"? To have a rabbi say, "You can be like me?" Of course you would drop your net. The rabbi believes you can do what he does. He thinks you can be like him.
Jesus took some boys who didn't make the cut and changed the course of human history.
At one point, Jesus' disciples are riding in a boat and Jesus comes walking by on the water. And one of the disciples says, "If it's you, let me come to you on the water." It's a weird story, isn't it? And it gets weirder when Peter jumps out of the boat because he wants to walk on water like Jesus. But it makes sense- maybe not the water part but the disciple part. If you are a disciple, you have commited your entire life to being like your rabbi. If you see your rabbi walk on water, what do you immediately want to do? Walk on water. So this disciple gets out on the water and he starts to sink, so he yells, "Jesus save me!" And Jesus says, "You of little faith, why did you doubt?"
Who does Peter lose faith in? Not Jesus; Jesus is doing fine. Peter loses faith in himself. Peter loses faith that he can do what his rabbi is doing. If the rabbi calls you to be his disciple, then he believes you can actually be like him. As we read the stories of Jesus' life with his disciples, what do we find frustrates him to no end? When his disciples lose faith in themselves. Is he frustrated because they are incapable? No, because of how capable they are. He sees what they could be and could do, and when they fall short, it provokes him like crazy. It isn't their failure that's the problem; it's their greatness. They don't realize what they are capable of.
So Jesus tells the disciples to go the ends of the earth and make more disciples. And then he leaves. He promises to send his Spirit to guide them and give them power, but Jesus himself leaves the future of the movement in their hands. He trusts that they can actually do it.
God has an incredibly high view of people. God believes that people are capable of amazing things. He believes they can be like Him, that everyone can be like Him. That they can spread His yoke, His love, His Kingdom.

I have been told that I need to believe in Jesus. Which is a good thing. But what I am learning is that Jesus believes in me.
I have been told that I need to have faith in God. Which is a good thing. But what I am learning is that God has faith in me.
The rabbi thinks we can be like him.
May you be covered in the dust of you rabbi.

Tired of telling you, you have me
When I know you really don't
Tired of telling you I'll follow
When I know I reallly won't
Cause I'd rather stand here speechless
With no great words to say
If my silence is more truthful
And my ears can hear how to walk in your way
In the silence
You are speaking
In the quiet I can feel the fire
And it's burning, burning deeply
Burning all that it is that you desire to be silent, in me
Oh Jesus can you hear me?
My soul is screaming out
And my broken will cries teach me
What your Kingdom's all about
Unite my heart to fear you,
To fear your holy name
and create a life of worship
In the spirit and truth of your loving ways

I dont know why some things have to happen. I dont know why God puts you through different things. Thats silly, I do know. I know that right now He is testing me with the very thing that is the closest and dearest to my heart. He is saying, "Ok, you've given this to me, and this, and this...but what I really want to know is...will you give me this?" This being the only worldly thing that I still cling to; the thing that I still have hope in and cherish above all. He wants to know that I trust Him enough to deal with the deepest parts of my heart. That I will trust Him to take care of it, not knowing the outcome, but TRUSTING that His will is SO much bigger and greater than mine. Am I going to trust Him? There is no other way. I dont know what He is going to do with the situation, but thats okay. All I care about is glorifying Him through every situation, relationship, decision, and action. Whatever He wills, so be it. Yeah it might hurt..but He heals all wounds. I know my God loves me and only wants the best for me. He knows my every heartbeat, my every thought, my every desire. What He has in store for me is SSSOO unbelievably better than I could ever plan for myself so why worry? My future is in the hands of the God most High and YOU CANT GET ANY HIGHER!

I hope you all are having a wonderful Christmas season and remembering everyday the beautiful gift that has been given to us and is waiting to be taken hold of. If your looking elsewhere this holiday for love or acceptance or peace....just turn around. He is waiting with open arms to welcome you home.



Im sorry I ruined your life and shoved 12 cookies into the VCR

It is well

Jesus Savior, pilot me over life's tempestous sea;
Unknown waves before me roll, hiding rock and treacherous shoal;
Chart and compass came from Thee;
Jesus, Savior, pilot me.
As a mother stills her child,
Thou canst hush the ocean wild;
Boisterous waves obey Thy will,
when Thou say'st to them "Be still!"
Wondrous Sov'reign of the sea,
Jesus, Savior, pilot me.
When at last I near the shore and the fearful breakers roar,
'Twixt me and the peaceful rest;
then, while leaning on Thy breast,
May I hear Thee say to me,
"Fear not, I will pilot thee."

The chief end of man is to glorify God by enjoying Him forever

There was once in a man a true happiness of which now remain to him only the mark and empty trace, which he in vain tries to fill from all his surroundings, seeking from all things absent the help he does not obtain in things present. But these are all inadequate, because the infinite abyss can only be filled by an infinite and immutable object, that is to say, only God Himself.


Of late God has been pleased to keep my soul hungry almost continually, so that I have been filled with a kind of pleasing pain. When I really enjoy God, I feel my desires of Him the more insatiable and my thirsting after holiness more unquenchable. All satisfaction in this life is shot through with longing and all genuine longing has tasted the satisfying water of life.

Bless the Lord, O my soul
And forget none of His benefits;
Who pardons all your iniquities, (<-in greek means: those sins you always lean towards)
Who heals all your diseases;
Who redeems your life from the pit,
Who crowns you with lovingkindness and compassion;
Who satisfies your yearns with good things,
So that your youth is renewed like the eagle.
-Psalm 103:2-5

-go read about the rejuvenation process of the eagle, its amazing.

Being the Beloved is the orgin and the fulfillment of the life of the Spirit. I say this because, as soon as we catch a glimpse of this truth, we are put on a journey in search of the fullness of that truth and we will not rest until we can rest in that truth. From the moment we claim the truth of being the Beloved, we are faced with the call to become who we are. Becoming the Beloved is the great spiritual journey we have to make. Augustine's words: "My soul is restless until it rests in you, O God," capture well this journey. I know that the fact that I am always searching for God, always struggling to discover the fullness of Love, always yearning for the complete truth, tells me that I have already been given a taste of God, of Love and of Truth. I can only look for something that I have, to some degree, already found. How can I search for beauty and truth unless that beauty and truth are already known to me in the depth of my heart? It seems that all of us human beings have deep inner memories of the paradise that we have lost. Maybe the word "innocence" is better than the word "paradise." We were innocent before we entered into the darkness; we were in the light before we entered into the darkness; we were at home before we started to search for home. Deep in the recesses of our minds and hearts lies hidden the treasure we seek. We know its preciousness, and we know that it holds the gift we most desire: a life stronger than death.What is required is to become the Beloved in the commonplaces of my daily existence and, bit by bit, to close the gap that exists between what I know myself to be and the countless specific realities of everyday life. When our deepest truth is that we are the Beloved and when our greatest joy and peace come from fully claiming that truth, it follows that this has to become visible and tangible in the ways we eat and drink, talk and love, play and work.

Untitled Tune by:Me

I sit here in the silence, straining to hear your voice,
Will you meet me here tonight?
All around me is so cloudy, you're my constant when all else fades,
Please meet me here tonight.
Traces of your love surround me, It's sweet words you wisper soflty,
I can't escape it, I want to embrace it,
Be near, O Lord, tonight.

Because my heart, it burns for you
So sweet Father show me what to do.
Your will is all I want, all I need, all that matters,
Shine your light in this darkness I call home.

Your grace, it consumes me but I'm so preoccupied,
Still my heart in yours.
Everything is me when all I want is you,
Break my heart for yours.
I dont know which way to go, but I trust in you when you
Guide my heart with Yours.

Because my soul, It longs for you,
So dear Jesus, show me what to do.
Your love is all I want, all I need, all that matters,
Rescue me from this lonliness I call home.

I want to watch how you do it and take a real rest,
To live freely and lightly in your company.
Let's walk together, only you know best,
I know you'll lead me home.©


"My soul waits in silence for God only; From Him is my salvation. He is my rock and my salvation, my stronghold; I shall not be greatly shaken." Ps 62:1-2

O God, be thou exalted over my possessions. Nothing of earth's treasures shall seem dear unto me if only Thou art glorified in my life. Be Thou exalted over my friendships. I am determined that Thou shalt be above all, though I must stand deserted and alone in the midst of the earth. Be Thou exalted above my comforts. Though it mean the loss of bodily comforts and the carrying of heavy crosses I shall keep my vow made this day before Thee. Be Thou exalted over my reputation. Make me ambitious to please Thee even if as a result I must sink into obscurity and my name be forgotten as a dream. Rise, O Lord, into Thy proper place of honor, above my ambitions, above my likes and dislikes, above my family, my health and even my life itself. Let me decrease that Thou mayest increase, let me sink that Thou mayest rise above. Ride forth upon me as Thou didst ride into Jerusalem mounted upon the humble little beast, a colt, the foal of an ass, and let me hear the children cry to Thee, `Hosanna in the highest.'

I pray in the words of Thy great servant of old, `I beseech Thee so for to cleanse the intent of mine heart with the unspeakable gift of Thy grace, that I may perfectly love Thee and worthily praise Thee.'

Hebrews 10:19-23

19Therefore, brethren, since we have confidence to enter the holy place by the blood of Jesus, 20by a new and living way which He inaugurated for us through the veil, that is, His flesh,
21and since we have a great priest over the house of God, 22let us draw near with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. 23Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful;

"Let me seek Thee in longing, let me long for Thee in seeking; let me find Thee in love, and love Thee in finding." -Anslem

Prodigal me

Your love is something I cannot fathom,
What is this thing called grace?
I am the soldier.
I spit at you, mock you, beat you,
You smile and call me Your bride.
Is there anything I could do to make you turn away?
Everyday I put things before you,
Things that for an instant satisfy.
When they are gone, and they will always leave,
I'm left broken, hopeless, empty.
And yet, you look at me with loving eyes;
You cant wait for me to come home,
Home to your forgiving arms so that you may
Once again whisper your wonders in my unworthy ear.
I don't want to leave.
I'm sick of falling.
I'm sick of belittling your name.
Why cant I just stay?
Why do I always pull away?
A shiny pleasure catches my eye and I'm gone.
Away from the only place where fullness lies.
How is it so easy?
How can I love you so much and then turn away so quickly?
How do I so quickly forget?
I know I can never love you like I should,
But I want to.
I want to with every fiber of my being.
I want to learn from you and walk with you,
Laughing and loving and living together,
The way its supposed to be.
Lord, all of me wants all of you.
Only you.
Forever.
Draw me to your heart.
Make me the lover I'm designed to be.
Wash me clean.
Your spotless bride,
She wants her groom.
Her heart is yours.

"Im just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her"

Our life is a short time in expectation, a time in which sadness and joy kiss each other at every moment. There is a quality of sadness that pervades all the moments of our life. It seems that there is no such thing as a clear-cut pure joy, but that even in the most happy moments of our existence we sense a tinge of sadness. In every satisfaction, there is an awareness of limitations. In every success, there is a fear of jealousy. Behind every smile, there is a tear. In every embrace, there is loneliness. In every friendship, distance. And in all forms of light, there is the knowledge of surrounding darkness.........But this intimate experience in which every bit of life is touched by a bit of death can point us beyond the limits of our existence. It can do so by making us look forward in expectation to the day when our hearts will be filled with perfect joy, a joy that no one shall take away from us.

I fall to my knees.....in search of knowing you more

Take these hands and lift them up
For I have not the strength to praise You near enough
For I have nothing without you
Take my voice and pour it out
Let it sing the songs of mercy I have found
For I have nothing without you
All my soul needs
Is all Your love to cover me
So all the world will see
That I have nothing without You
Take my body and build it up
May it be broken as an offering of love
For I have nothing without you
All my soul needs
Is all Your love to cover me
So all the world will see
That I have nothing without you
But I love You
With all my heart
With all my soul
With all my might
With all the strength that I can find
Take my time here on this earth
And let it glorify all that You are worth
For I am nothing without you